Count on me. That sounds nice, doesn't it? Like, "Hey, count on me, I've got this." Rest easy. Breathe. Just be. I'll do all the work for you. If only. If only that's the way things worked. But can we just all say out loud that counting on OTHER people is HARD WORK? Can we just all admit that we have this bone in our bodies that makes us all just want to do it ourselves? But listen, I want someone to move the world for me. I WANT someone to go to the ends of the earth for me. My husband has lapped the world several times and continues to lap it for me. I would hope he would say the same about me. I try to lap the world for my kids. I really do. Not that I want to give them everything in terms of stuff. But I want to give them EVERYTHING in terms of love, and trust, and security, and truth, and peace of mind.
Peace of mind. That's another funny one. What actually gives you peace? Have you thought about it? When your head hits the pillow at night what makes it so you can rest easy? I know for a lot of us who are just too darn busy, sleep, regardless of exhaustion, is hard to come by. Its probably different for everyone, but maybe, just maybe, the relationships in your life are key to your peace of mind. I'm not saying you need to get married to have peace of mind. In fact, lots of us married folk would readily admit that marriage is a ton of work to really get to the place where you have peace of mind and can actually rely on the other person the way you probably thought you should when you got married. I'm just saying, maybe there's a friend or a sibling or a co-worker that you can open up and bare your soul to that can help you carry your load. Not that as adults we can't actually handle what life gives us, but man, it sure is nice to have someone to share it with.
I often get lonely. I tell my husband often that loneliness comes in waves. I used to have a ton of girlfriends that I'd share my soul with. That list of friends has shrunk over the years and I have days when I miss the phone calls (yup, I do actually miss talking on the phone!) with someone, sharing life. Its no offense to my husband, which he understands, its just different. But let me tell you what, I MISS having friends to love. I miss buying birthday presents and eating cake and going shopping and all those girly things I used to do ALL the time with my friends. Part of my problem is that as a creative type, in order to be creative, I have to be alone. I can't write a song with a bunch of noise in the next room. I just can't. I have to be alone with my thoughts to figure out lyrics, and to process emotions to see how they translate to song. I write my melodies, progressions, and stories alone. That's part of the deal for me. But over the years, that need to be alone to become who I am meant to be creatively has led to a decrease in time, that coupled with life in general, and so finding time to be with those friends is harder to come by. Please don't misunderstand what I am saying in that I am blaming anyone. Of course I'm not. What I am saying is that its a tricky balance. And I miss having friends with open schedules and lives to share life with. Do you ever feel that?
So, this song, count on me, is about me wanting to share life. With you. I always tell my husband, we don't get to choose what happens to us, but we get to choose how it goes after the fact. We get a say in how we respond and how we make the next move. I somehow get the privilege of being a creator of music in this life, and I feel like these stories are important enough that I take the time to record them and send them out into the world, unknowing of how the world will receive them, and even if just one of you resonates with what I'm saying, or have been through, then somehow its all worth it to me. Totally, incredibly worth the journey.
Sadly, this brings me to the end of the stories of the songs on this project, and I can't thank you enough for sticking around. I so appreciate anyone who is reading this, and don't worry, this won't be the end...You can count on me, cause I'll move the world for you.
Let the pen hit the page
escape the break of day
oh clear the air as the body waits
And though the fear is real
the longing for your love
and the current of being in your arms
Count on Me I'll move the world for you (4x)
Find a way to change the path
but the arrow's been pulled
released, direction moving on
eyes forward, ever strong
Oh I keep pushing on
for all the things that can be made right
Count on Me, I'll move the world for you (4x)
If you stay....
Count on me I'll move the world for you...